Should I Say Something To The Parent About This Or Stay Out Of It?
Posted in Causes on 22. Sep, 2009
Before I start, let me start by saying that I completely realize this is absolutely none of my business, and I’ll understand any rude answers telling me to butt out and mind my own business, but let me explain why it has me concerned.
My friend has an 8 year old daughter, and her entire diet consists of anything sweet. She’ll eat cake and ice cream for breakfast! Everything she eats, she has the need to slather chocolate spread or caramel syrup all over it, or pour sugar on it. When I watch her over at my house, I have to hide my candy, or she’ll eat it all. The worst case was when I had bought a new package of Oreo cookies–when she had left, I looked and saw there was only 5 left. A WHOLE PACKAGE! Another case was when I let her make herself lunch (stupid on my part), and half the jar of jelly was gone in the end.
I know it isn’t my kid, and therefore it isn’t my business, but I am concerned this child is going to end up a diabetic. I know all about diabetes because I watched my grandfather succumb to it…aside from daily shots, by the time the disease was done with him, he had lost a leg due to circulation problems, was blind in both eyes, constant skyrocketing blood pressure, and the emergency room might as well have given him a VIP card for his countless visits.
Aside from diabetes, at the least, this child’s teeth will decay.
Should I say something to my friend about this? I just thing this child’s health is in grave permanent danger if not corrected. Diabetes is an incurable disease…it’s not something that will go away in 10 or 20 years.
Again, I know it’s none of my business…but I’m worried for this child!
I know this will shock you (because it shocked me) but it is a myth that eating lots of sugar will cause type 2 diabetes. My husband is a bioinformaticist (he works with genetics and computers) and all summer their project (well known biotech/pharmaceutical company in Boston called Novartis – they develop and sell Excedrin) was researching type 2 diabetes in rats. I was totally flabbergasted when he told me this.
Although sugar intake does not directly affect whether or not you will develop type 2 diabetes, obesity does. My husband said that a whole slew of factors go into determining who will get type 2 diabetes, including genetic history, but more importantly, obesity.
I would definitely worry about this child. You are absolutely right, type 2 diabetes is currently incurable, and definitely could happen to this child if they become obese. Also, you should simply worry about this child becoming obese. There are so many health problems that come as a result of obesity – horrible! This poor kid is only 8!
You may want to double check to make sure that this behavior is consistent wherever the child goes. Maybe their mom is a health food freak and never lets them touch anything sweet, so when she’s at your house she goes crazy. Maybe not. I would definitely talk to the child’s parents about it.
Other things to worry about with high sugar intake of children – I am no scientist, but as a teacher I can see the direct relationship between sugar and a child’s attention span. Children who don’t get a healthy diet with lots of green vegetables, whole grains, and variety will not develop properly.
If this child’s parent knowingly lets them do this….oh it makes me so mad that some people can be so horrible.
LATER:
Yes, I am positive he said that sugar intake does not cause type 2 diabetes, but that obesity does. Here are some websites with more info…you can google “sugar intake type II diabetes” and find lots more.
Don’t say anything to the , but you need to pull her mother aside privately and tell her how horrible diabetes is. Politely. And in a serious tone. Don’t criticize the mother.
I feel you are not doing anything wrong by being worried about the little girl and maybe you should tell your friend that she needs to cut back on the sweets. If you see she gets upset just tell her it was something on your mind.
You should probably say something, very, very politely. If you don’t, you’ll wish you did I’m sure.
You should say something, even if it will fall on deaf ears.
You can’t say much to her parents, maybe mention that you’ve noticed she eats a lot of candy and junk food. When she’s at your house though, you have the right to limit junk food. Put sweets up where they can’t be reached and make lunches instead of having her make them; an even better idea would be to have her help you prepare a healthy meal. I know an adult who’s diet consisted of nothing other than sweets for years, she isn’t diabetic nor ever overweight… I think the worst thing is the lack of nutrients and mood problems a limited diet can lead to. You are concerned and should talk to her parents but, of course like you already said, be prepared for a negative comeback.
obviously you care about the well being of this little girl, so, yea, i would say something to her mother! letting your child eat candy and cake all the time is NOT good parenting. a piece of candy every once in a while is ok, but, not for every meal and all day snacks. talk to your friend, and tell her you mean no disrespect, but, you are afraid that her child will become obese, or get sick, and be unhealthy. i know the little girl will probably throw a fit b/c she cant have her sweets, but, she is the mother, and its her job to raise her, make her be healthy, and control what she eats. tell your friend what you told us here, show her what could happen if this continues.
I understand your concern and by the sound of it, anyone SHOULD be concerned about the wellbeing of this child. There doesn’t seem to be any moderation whatsoever in her diet for her to even be in the least healthy. I think it’s right for you to cross the line and say something to your friend about it because not only is she encouraging this spoiled behavior but she’s risking her daughter’s health in the process. I mean no matter what her trip ups as a person could be, she really has to see what she’s doing to the child she’s raising. If you are going to confront her, which I ultimately believe you should so at least she knows or has an opinion that maybe what she’s doing isn’t right for her daughter, do it in a way that doesn’t patronize her ability as a mother, but be firm hen you tell her that giving her sweets all the time isn’t even medically acceptable as a regiment to be healthy and by not limiting her, she’ll also grow up to believe that she can get anything and everything that she wants without the consequences and you don’t want to have her learn that before she even has a choice when she’d diagnosed with Juvenile onset.
I agree with kalzebeta – you should find out if her behavior is consistent. One of my friends growing up was not allowed to eat anything that was not organic. For that reason she would act like a Tasmanian devil in our kitchen – eating everything in sight.
I know you worry about this girl but I would find another way to tell the mother. Imagine if someone pulled you aside and told you that you were raising your child wrong? You’d probably get very defensive (even if you knew they were right). I would buy a lot of fruits and vegetables and put them in your kitchen. Invite the mother in and comment during your conversation that your family has been eating way too much junk food and that you want to make sure they eat healthy. Maybe it will get the ball rolling…
I wanted to back up the answerer who said that you can’t eat your way into diabetes – that is absolutely correct. You have a genetic predisposition for it or you don’t. If you have that genetic predisposition, what you eat will affect whether you develop it. But if you don’t, you can eat candy and sweets all day and all it will do is rot your teeth and make you fat.
Now having said that, the latest research is showing that obesity is more a SYMPTOM of this genetic predisposition rather than the CAUSE of diabetes. People who develop diabetes can sometimes have a buildup of insulin which has the side affect of storing glucose as fat very efficiently.
In short, this girl’s eating habits are not good and could make her fat, but do not necessarily mean she will develop diabetes. Type 2 diabetes doesn’t show up in kids that young anyway – the kind that young kids get is caused by random things like a bad virus, it’s unpredictable.
Lastly, it’s very very difficult to watch questionable parenting but it wouldn’t accomplish much to talk to your friend about it. It will drive a wedge into your friendship and it won’t change anyone’s behavior. The best you can do is not supply that kind of junk when she’s over at your house. Let there be a rule about when cookies come out – don’t have it available and expect an 8-year-old to only have 1 cookie. You can control what is offered at your house, but anything else is totally out of your control. We all have times we feel like that about someone else’s kids.
Are you really concerned about the child or your food when she comes to your house??
It depends on how long you have been friends with her mom. Sometimes discussing other peoples children seriously offends them and can ruin the friendship depending on the relationship. If she is a family friend then you should politely say something. Also, if it IS your food let her know that your food has rules… Following servings sizes and such. Take it from there and move forward.
i would sit down and talk to the mother of this child and tell her all the unhealthy side effects her daughter’s diet can have on her…bring research..make sure u tell the mother u are concerned about the girls health and well-being..she might get mad and tell u its none of ur business but in the end u can feel better because u told her